Capone is an American Red Nose Pitbull, also known as, the sweetest dog in the whole entire world. He first came to me when he was just a pup, two feet tall, bronze fur with white markings, a bronze diamond on the top of his head, and green eyes. The pup had floppy ears that flew behind him when he clumsily ran to my seven year old self. I can still remember his big eyes looking into mine for the first time and all the love that filled them also filled me. His soft, yet slobbery tongue left wet kisses on my face and his paws were on my knees, claws slightly out to help balance him. His tail, like a whip, would excitedly wag as I pet his short, soft fur. The warmth from his body spread to my hand when I touched him. Unable to contain himself, Capone flopped on his back for a belly rub, his jaws slightly open with his tongue hanging out of the side, his tail, still wagging.
As I grew, he did too. So, my eight year old self falling to my knees with my arms wide open to greet my boy wasn't expecting a full grown pitbull to come running as fast as he could to see me. Capone knocked me down, kissing my face. His hot breath smelled like a rawhide bone. Sitting back up, I noticed something different from him, Capone’s ears were cropped. The once floppy ears are sitting straight up on his head like wolf ears. I also noticed that when I pet his soft fur, my hands would be covered in short white and bronze hairs.
Since Capone is full grown and can no longer fit on my lap while going down the slide, we tried sledding. Unfortunately, he would rather run on the leash and drag me in the snow, literally. Capone, though obedient, loved to chase squirrels just to get his energy out. His speed and strength were never questioned after that. Capone is also very loyal, especially to me. Even though I didn't live with him and my father, he knew that he was my dog; my best friend.
Unfortunately, I never got to see what Capone was like when he was old. The last time I saw him, he was three years old. This is when he chased and killed a opossum that had consumed rat poison. My ten year old self wanted to run around and play with my boy because he was young and energetic. When I walked into the door, my boy greeted me happily, but I could tell that something was wrong. His eyes showed love, the corners of his slightly open mouth were turned up and he was panting. His tail was wagging, but he didn’t seem to have the energy to run to me, or knock me to the floor as usual. He would still give me the wet kisses but his breath smelled sickly. Unfortunately, I didn’t pay any notice because I thought that he was going through a phase of bad dog breath. At this point in time, Capone was feeling lethargic instead of hyper. We would spend more days cuddled up on the couch, his head in my lap, with innocent eyes looking up at me as I rhythmically pet his back in long strokes, occasionally rubbing my hands together to get his shedded fur off. When going outside, instead of playing fetch or just running around the backyard, he would do his business and come back inside. He would still find joy in knocking into his water holder to watch the bubbles appear, but he would spend most of his days laying on either the couch, on my bed, or on his dog bed.
The very last time I saw him, he was on his dog bed and I laid on the floor next to him. He could barely move, except for his tail which thumped on the floor wildly, and my father said, “Aw, look at how happy he is to be with his girl.”
I looked at my boy and saw his happy face, but I could feel that he was in pain. Deep down, I knew that I would never see him again. I kissed him on his soft cheek, told him that I loved him and left for Tennessee.
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| Capone at three years old |
Kayla that picture of your dog is extermely adorable!! Your blog was written in a chronological sequence, wrtiting about from the time that your dog was a puppy and how it grew and change like in length and size. As well as, how the featured changed from the time he was was a newborn but Tio the time that he had passed away. I think one of my favorite paragraphs had been the first paragraph it incorporated a lot of sensory details within, the description of your new puppy in which you had use a lot of visual descriptions, the marking on his face and the color of his fur. As well as there was a lot of sensing or feeling buzz words that weee included that "his slobbery tongue left wet kisses". Where I personally felt where it seem a bit vague in comparison to the rest was when describing your dog running and chasing squirrels, while you were specific in some ways but I feel like you could of expanded more and build upon the memory helping place the reader in that memory with you. I really liked your blogpost it felt very personal to you specifically at the end when you had lost your dog it really pulled at the pathos making me feel for you. Overall, the descriptions where well used thoughtout. Great job!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your blog, I can say that the dominant impression the author provides about the description is that you possess true love and affection towards your red nosed pitbull. I found your first paragraph to contain the most description compared to the others since you described the specific qualities of your dog, such as when you wrote, “ His soft, yet slobbery tongue left wet kisses on my face and his paws were on my knees, claws slightly out to help balance him. His tail, like a whip, would excitedly wag as I pet his short, soft fur. The warmth from his body spread to my hand when I touched him.” You use concrete micro-detail and sensory imagery effectively in instances such as when you said, "Capone was feeling lethargic instead of hyper. We would cuddle up on the couch a lot and he only wanted to go outside to do his business instead of playing." and “Capone knocked me down, kissing my face. His hot breath smelled like a rawhide bone. Sitting back up, I noticed something different from him, Capone’s ears were cropped. The once floppy ears are sitting straight up on his head like wolf ears.” Your description is least successful towards the end of the blog because it lacks the specificity that the previous paragraphs contained. You were vague in your writing when you wrote, "His face looked happy, his tail was wagging, but I wasn't knocked to the floor, nor did he run to see me." It is ineffective because it seems to utilize simpler language and lack more descriptive phrases. Overall, your blog post was descriptive, met the requirements provided by the prompt, and the whole post appealed to my sense of pathos.
ReplyDeleteThe dominant impression you provided was the amount of love you have for your dog. Like Brenda and Joey already said I feel like your strongest paragraph involving the great description and sensory imagery was definitely your first paragraph. You described how he looked when he ran up to you for the first time, “The pup had floppy ears that flew behind him when he clumsily ran to my seven year old self.” And how his tongue felt against your skin. I thought that your last two paragraphs could have used more description. You should have went into more detail when describing how Capone looked when you last saw him. That would have gave the reader more of a visual and it would appeal more to pathos. Overall Kayla, I really liked your blog post, it was emotional yet there was a playful mood at the beginning and I can relate to this post a lot. Good job :)
ReplyDelete1. In your own words, paraphrase the dominant impression the author provides about what is being described.
ReplyDeleteThe dominant impression I picked up from this was true love. True love between you and your pup and I can honestly say it had me feeling some sorta way. Very solid descriptions can definitely appeal to the pathos of the readers.
2. In which paragraph or paragraphs is the description most interesting and why? Be specific.
I think the first two paragraphs did a great job at describing his personality and his traits that make you love him, I think that is where I see the most interesting description.
3. Identify several places where the writer uses concrete micro-detail and/or sensory imagery effectively. Be specific on how/why this was so effective.
IN paragraph 1 where you mention "The pup had floppy ears that flew behind him when he clumsily ran to my seven year old self." really does a good job describing his cute quirks and lots.
I also think in Paragraph 2, where you mention "The once floppy ears are sitting straight up on his head like wolf ears. I also noticed that when I pet his soft fur, my hands would be covered in short white and bronze hairs." is also a strong point because I can feel his age increasing like years yet only over months.
4. Where is the description least successful and why?
I think your last few sentences were least successful because I had so wished you had more detail on it. I know tis for sure was something hard to think about and even harder to put all those memories that must hurt to an extent into words, but the last few sentences can, arguably, bring the most feeling if you add some more meat to their bones.
5. Identify places where the writer is vague or uses abstraction. Be specific on how/why this was ineffective.
The only place I can clearly identify vagueness or abstraction is in your last few sentences, just because the points are so short. However I promise I can only imagine how hard this piece of writing was for you so I don't place any blame. :-)
6. What did you like best about the essay and anything else you'd like to say to the writer.
I liked the topic of the essay and how you structured it. Very impressive piece and it really got me feeing. Great blog, Kayla!!